Our emotions resulting from betrayal trauma indicate thirst; our thirst indicates a desperate need for Jesus

Stephanie Broersma with Reclaimed Ministries for women impacted by their husbands porn addiction by Stephanie Broersma
Reclaimed Ministry

“They will neither hunger nor thirst, not will the desert heat or the sun beat down on them. He

who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water.”

– Isaiah 49:10

Have you ever experienced cottonmouth?

Over the years, I’ve learned the discipline and the benefits of staying hydrated. I’ve trained myself to always carry water in the car for moments of parched panic. I’ve learned to wear my hydration vest on long runs to prevent dehydration meltdowns. I’ve experienced far too many times where my tongue sticks to the top of my mouth and skin becomes flakey simply because I was not drinking enough water.

Our spiritual lives parallel this same need and urgency for water. Spiritual water. When a bride experiences those shattering moments after discovering infidelity in her marriage, recognizing the need for a relentless pursuit of spiritual hydration can be the difference between experiencing God’s sustaining grace, or emotional parched panic.

I recognize that I am very fortunate to have grown up in the church. I can’t recall a point in my life without the knowledge of Jesus. I’ve continued to pursue a relationship with Jesus, which for me, has created a nonthreatening dependence on Him. When I heard my husband’s confession to years of addiction and infidelity, my faith became the very thing which restored my spirit and cast hope on my broken marriage. As I pursued personal restoration, God quickly reminded my soul of three important lessons that would offer me hope and healing. Lessons that continue to reap blessings in my life over a decade later.

Admit I need Jesus.

Stubborn is one label I’d like to not be attached too. Unfortunately, the reality is it follows me around, highlighting areas needing to be refined – daily – by grace. When I found myself separated from my husband, without a clear direction of how to fix the mess in my marriage, any attempts at being stubborn were crumbled. The pain of feeling weak and broken led me directly to my knees admitting the only way through was with Jesus.

Your narrative will increase your thirst…or extinguish it.

The Enemy immediately assigned lies to the swirling narrative in my marriage, and never seemed to shut off. Every lie screamed I wasn’t good enough. In response I learned the discipline of speaking faith over fear. It took practice and patience, and birthed humility and grace. My heart learned to fill our home with worship and scripture as an active defense to quiet the noise and extinguish the lies.

Cling to God’s attributes.

God is a mountain spring of self-replenishing, life-giving water. A constant flow of hope and healing. When my emotions were scattered across the floor, God’s character remained constant, His love gentle. Unfortunately, the Bible doesn’t tell us that our life will hold only one trouble and then suddenly be free of all other hard and ugly things. John 16:33 says, “In this world you will have trouble… But take heart! I have overcome this world.” Hope is found in the truth that God’s character remains the same, even on our worst days. Hope is in knowing God is bigger than our heartache. He is always good, always kind, always gentle. When hard things become a part of our story, God invites us to HIM – the Source of every good and perfect gift – to drink from His unlimited well of thirst-quenching truth and righteousness.